Text

Absolutely loved meeting Buddha and his foster mom, from FosteringLove! He is a wild child, selectively blind, and a complete man! Arriving with his sweet baby glasses on, who doesn’t love baby glasses?! His foster mom is on par, magical, and full of spunk! Buddha absolutely lucked out when he was placed in her care!

Text

I’m at a Starbucks waiting for Buddha and his foster mom to arrive! I have been looking forward to meeting them all weekend! I cannot wait to get my hands on the little man child!

Text

The last few weeks have been odd. I genuinely am missing having a baby in my home. I often times find myself looking through pictures of my pervious foster babies, always longing to know where each child is. McGee’s family are no longer in contact with me, it’s been months since I’ve heard from them. I am able to see on Facebook that baby girl, Tie Dye, is with her older sister and their grandmother. Lou has been reunited with his mom and dad. Lou will likely cycle back into care, like his siblings had done constantly until TPR took place.
My life today would not suit fostering, but one day I will do it again. Maybe when I spend 2 years in Alabama once my girlfriend starts military flight school there? Or when she is stationed back in California, but not in Sacramento county. All I know for sure is that I miss mothering babies. I think of Doc every day, wondering how he is and who are his mothers. Does he have siblings? Is he talking? Who are his toddler friends?
Doc will be 2 this summer, and I wish I could see him. I am going to mail photos and videos of him to the adoptions agency he went through. When I asked them to ask his adopters if they wanted pictures, I never got a response. I just want him to have his life story.

Ps:

Text

I had my home decertified 2 months ago. Got real tired of living in constant fear of retaliation from this worker and Sacramento County CPS. The amount of physical and emotional distress that exited my body the day I got a copy of my voluntary decertification was fantastic!

Text

She’s back. Got a call from her supervisor asking me to return her call and it’s in regard to the boys’ Social Worker. This should be interesting!

Text

I spent an hour last night looking at pictures of Doc, reminding myself that I was the lucky one in the situation. I got to have that little boy all to myself for a few short months, and in those months I learned countless lessons.
I really wish I could know him today. Give his moms copies of all the pictures I took of him.
In the end, he ended up with a lesbian couple, so I know he is deeply loved and will never get away with shit!
I always told him, “One day, you will be a good man.” I’m positive his mom’s will make sure he is a good man.

Text

"K" and I are meeting up on Wednesday to get to know each other, to see if we are entering into this on the same page. Inviting a teenager, and her baby, to live with me is a really big choice that I am not taking lightly. I am going to need her to follow a couple guidelines, and I think they are pretty easy to adhere to. These will be in place for a couple reasons, and can be lowered once I know her and the people she spends time with.

1. No sleepovers here. (This will be lifted on an individual basis as I see your friends are trustworthy.)

2. You must sleep here at least every 3 days. (County rule.)

3. You meet your sons needs, but I am always available to support good parenting.  (He is not my foster child.)

4. Text me if you won’t be sleeping here.

5. Your room must not smell like a dead animal.

6. Communicate with me when things are not going well, you are struggling, you need more from me, you need me to back off, you need me in ANY way.
7. Have goals you are actively working towards, so I can be your biggest fan! :)
8. Do not bring anything illegal into our home.
Easy enough, right? She is not a child, so I will not treat her like a child. I will support her in any way she needs me to, and in ways she does not THINK she needs me to (I plan to get her ass into college).
The college deal, she does not want to go to college. I “did not want to go to college” at 18, it took learning to believe in myself to go to college. I would say I “did not want to go to college” at 18 because I believed I was not smart enough. I have a sneaking suspicion she does not believe she is smart enough to go, cannot do it with a baby, and “would fail anyways so why try”? I will be her biggest fan, expose her to what college can give to her, and how college opens every door she has ever wanted to enter. She deserves to have fans, and I will be her biggest fan until she can be her own biggest fan.
First sneak attack in supporting higher education, putting really good books in her room. She won’t need to read them, but who can resist a good book?

Text

Could this work?

An after school program specifically for foster child? Try to get the county involved in funding the project? Have a school bus to pick up the children every day of the week, bring them to a center that will provide mentors, older children are responsible for helping younger children with a daily task (to give them the feeling of being needed), college students (inters) are provided for older children who have similar interests, bikes are provided for children attending school within biking distance to the center, social workers are always allowed to visit with the children at the center, allows for single and working foster parents to have reassurance their children are cared for, and staff will focus on implementing DBT skills, CBT skills, and a positive/forward thinking mindset.

Can I get a county (CPS) to sign on for this? What would this look like? How can I get this funded?

Hey Fosterhood!!!!!!!!!!!!! What do you think of this idea/concept? (Don’t ignore this, I know you’re reading it right now. In fact, I’m gonna put your name in all caps in the title right now. Public shaming works, right Runfostermama?!) :)

I don’t want it to be a program that children are no longer capable of participating in once they are no long in foster care. I want it to be the foundation that children can always land on, whether in foster care, after being returned to their family or after being adopted. I am thinking children in the range of middle school to high school. These are the years where children get lost in drugs, sex, booze, depression, eating disorders, gangs… I can help play a part in moving these children into a happy, fulfilled, and productive adulthood.

Looks like I need to start making some phone calls tomorrow! Luckily, I’ve got a handful of really educated and like minded social workers and foster parents around me.

Photo

Visiting with Papi! He is hitting all his milestones and is very happy! It’s so hard knowing he is going back to his parents. I know reunification is always the primary goal for foster children, and I typically support reunification. But in his case, staying with his Tia would avail him a more stable life and more opportunities in life. Thank baby Jesus, his Tia is only 5 minutes from his parents and they have a healthy relationship.

Text

Over one year ago, Doc was removed from my home. Prior to his sudden removal, I was so excited to bring him to Thanksgiving! I could not wait to show off the amazing little boy who was “on track” to being adopted by me! I was so very proud of that little boy! I had already begun to buy him Christmas gifts, had his Thanksgiving outfit picked out, and just KNEW I was going to have the best holiday season of my life! My brother and sister were so excited to meet Doc, it was supposed to be perfect! But, that is not how Thanksgiving went last year. Doc, the boy who I thought would be my son, was taken just days before Thanksgiving. I was in full force mourning, but I showed up to dinner anyways.

No one mentioned Docs name the entire night. I wanted to talk about him, I still want to talk about him to this day. I had never loved a human unconditionally until he entered my life. He was my pride and joy! He owned every centimeter of my heart and soul!

Seeing as it has been over a year since he was taken, my memories of him are starting to get blurry. This breaks my heart. I find a HUGE amount of comfort knowing that this year, he is with his family! Doc has his own two mommies! I do not know if he has siblings, but I know he has TWO MOMS! I am certainly bias, but gays raise amazing children! We love their children with a fucking fire! We have to have children, and I know Doc’s moms had to go through hell to adopt from foster care. They had to risk falling in love with Doc, while he technically remained in foster care, and possibly lose him to his biological mothers appealing her rights being terminated. When I found out Doc was being adopted by lesbians, I was able to exhale.

So, as I continue to clear my house of baby things, I hold onto things I have clear memories of Doc loving. I cannot let go of some things. I will keep some of his clothing to put on my own babies one day. I will keep his paci, some blankets, and his dinosaur shoes.

I miss him deeply. I think I will always miss him. He made me a mother. He taught me how to love someone unconditionally.

On the topic of other foster babies, Papi’s tia sent me two pictures of him last night. I was at a birthday celebration for someone I love very much when the text message popped up. Just moments before the text arrived, Shawn (the brother of the birthday girl) had been asking me about foster care. I got to show him Papi’s picture and Shawn got a huge smile on his face. I absolutely LOVE talking about my foster babies, I love being asked about them, and I love sharing their pictures with those who ask about my babies. I am so fucking proud to of been the foster mom for each of my babies!

I am happy to let you all know that each one of my five babies are no longer in foster care. Lou is in long term kinship care (living with extended family), Papi is in kinship but expected to return to his parents by the end of the year, McGee has been home for many months and his family is doing great, Tie Dye is with her confirmed father, and Doc has his two mommies! I will be making an effort to see McGee and Papi in December. McGee’s mom is a little hard to pin down, but she is always in contact with me. And Papi… well, his tia’s front door is always open for me.